The Benefits of Manhood (Without The Responsibilities)

I know this guy who splits his time between home and office. He is very happy with the arrangement because he gets to do what he was called to do, even if the pay is kinda slim. His wife believes in this calling and is very supportive of him. She has a great job, she encourages him to do his work and all she asks is that since his schedule is flexible, that he take care of some of the house chores.

Sometimes, occasionally, okay, lots of times, he neglects some of those chores. He gets caught up in the good stuff he is doing and "forgets" the tasks or only partially completes what he committed to doing. It happens, right? You fill up the sink with hot water and you walk away for a minute. Two hours later the water is cold and the dishes haven't been done but hey, at least the blog post got written, or those phone calls got made, right?

As you can imagine,  she is not quite happy about the neglect and she dares to challenge him on how he spent his time. But by golly, he is the man and she will not be questioning him. That is his time and he doesn't answer to her or anybody else because he is a grown man for crying out loud. Who does she think she is? 

I know that it sounds ridiculous and in this instance it's a bit of a non-conventional job he holds, but do you know somebody like that?  It may sound like this: "I'm the one who brings home the bacon, now go fry me up some bacon. And while you're at it shove some bacon in that kids mouth so he will shut up." Or maybe it's like this: "It doesn't matter where I've been, I'm going to go to bed because I work for a living and I don't want anybody bothering me." Forget about any connection that the family needs from him. 

Ever since we were kids we have wanted our own way, it's in our nature. From the time that someone picked up a toy that we had previously been playing with, thereby making it our own, we have whined and cried and moaned about what is ours. That's what kids do. But scripturally speaking we are told that when we grow up we are to put away childish things.  Instead, we often grow up and as men we use our size, our position, our maleness to do what we want, when we want. Just like children in grown bodies.

I heard a song the other day, "Absentminded Melody" by Joel Plaskett. I never heard it before and I don't know him or anything about him, but it had an interesting line: "The only thing worse than growing up is never quite learning how". Well, we won't learn how unless we are willing to honestly listen to someone who will tell us what we need to hear as opposed to what we want to hear. Until we get over ourselves and realize that the world does not revolve around us.

If you want to be a grown man with character, don't be afraid to exercise your God given authority when it's called for, but quit using your position to boss people around.  Don't be a bull in a china shop, but don't be afraid to come out of the bull pen either. Do what's right not what's easy. Have integrity. Do what you say you will do. Speak kindly even when your harsh words are "fair" and for that matter forget about fairness.  Quit thinking that just because you are a man with needs, that yours are more important than those of everybody else. If you have a spouse, love her.  If you have contributed to bringing a child into this world, then be a father and raise them (which means more than bringing home a paycheck). 

If you want more out of your manhood than the ability to have sex, the freedom to do what you want and when you want, read through the New Testament and see what Jesus Christ says about being a man. Check out His character and emulate it. Surround yourself with good men and learn from them.  Don't be a little boy in a man's body. Be different. Grow up.  

The author is husband to an amazing wife, father to two beautifully grown daughters and papaw to two of the cutest and smartest kids ever created. He is currently the associate pastor at Tabernacle of Praise in Crestline, Ohio. At present, he is taking a break from his career as a Christian stand-up comic, however, if you would like to discuss him speaking to your church or group, feel free to contact him directly by e-mail at dwaynecastle40@yahoo.com or by phone at 419-961-1265. 

The Election (Winners and Losers)

You may not have heard but we here in the USA have a little thing called the presidential election. In a few weeks we will decide who is going to be the face of our great country and lead us for the next four years.  According to polls it's anybodies guess as to who is going to win. The implications reach far beyond my corner of the globe and expand into the entire world, like it or not.

Although our collective name, United States of America, indicates one thing we are in reality a divided nation. There are those who are either in the Democrat or Republican camps or those who are third party proponents. There are the non-affiliated and the very disinterested or disheartened. To hear tell, regardless of who wins there will be anarchy, riots in the streets and life as we know it will be over. The winners will  undoubtedly gloat while being called cheats and liars. The "losers" will demand recounts and court battles or make excuses for the loss. Both the winners and losers will be called un-American.

The "winner", an imperfect human being, will be near opposite in principle from their closest opponent thus alienating all who would have voted for someone else. Furthermore, the winner will assuredly change or compromise on some of his principled beliefs, alienating those purists who expected 100% agreement with their own point of view by the leader of the free world.

This past weekend was amazing. We held a 24 hour prayer service at our church beginning on Friday night. We prayed about many things: health issues, elimination of the drug epidemic in our county, revival, and yes, even the elections (nationally, statewide, and locally.) We prayed for the protection of our leaders and for wisdom, integrity and fidelity of office, regardless of their party affiliation.  After the prayer service was over, we began a worship service with what I would call the best worship team ever. I'm a bit biased because I truly love the members of our team of gifted singers and musicians.

A team of dedicated women decorated the prayer tent our pastor thought to erect, as well as the sanctuary, all with the theme of Harvest Celebration. They set the tone for our prayer and worship in that we ought to be thankful to God for the goodness that He pours out upon us, the expectation of continued blessings, and for the hope that is to us, Jesus Christ.  Many people put time, energy and even money into this weekend. It was worth it. Every minute spent in preparation and prayer, every penny spent on setting the environment and planting spiritual seeds, all of it was worth the cost.

We believe in the Holy Spirit as a very real person, part of the Trinity with God and Jesus. Many of us felt the presence of the Holy Spirit during the prayer and worship time, conversed with Him, and were reinvigorated in our walk down this Christian path. Some were healed, some forgiven, and some were given vision for their future. We believe that every prayer was answered regardless of the visible results or the lack thereof.

Immediately after the event my wife and I left the church energized by two full days of basking in His presence and promptly hit and killed a deer with our new car. Not brand new, but new to us. We had only made a single payment on it and on top of that it was the car my wife uses for work and now she can't. Between the tragedy that befell the deer, Deborah's great sadness (she loves animals), the damage to the car and the fact that I hadn't slept but a few hours or so in the past 40, I was a bit upset. How could this happen? I just spent so much of myself worshipping God.   

"Dwayne, what does this have to do with the elections?" Great question. In politics, as in sports, there are people praying on and for each team to win. But there is only one winner. This isn't soccer and there won't be a tie. There are people on all sides hoping for a specific outcome and it will be devastation to some on the side garnering the least amount of votes. 

The outcome of our election, or our circumstances, does not change God. Whether my candidate wins or loses, it doesn't change the love that my God has for me. He doesn't love me more or less based on if I win or not. He isn't less of God because my car was damaged and a deer died. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. My faith is in Him not in my president or my team or my circumstances. I encourage you to determine if you are living a life that is only "good" when the "right" people and circumstances line up in your favor, or is it a good life, regardless of what it looks like in the moment.

If you like this post, please comment, share and/or subscribe. If you are interested in having me speak with your group,  please contact me at by e-mail at dwaynecastle40@yahoo.com, by phone at 419-961-1265 or through my website at www.funnybutclean.com.