The Benefits of Manhood (Without The Responsibilities)

I know this guy who splits his time between home and office. He is very happy with the arrangement because he gets to do what he was called to do, even if the pay is kinda slim. His wife believes in this calling and is very supportive of him. She has a great job, she encourages him to do his work and all she asks is that since his schedule is flexible, that he take care of some of the house chores.

Sometimes, occasionally, okay, lots of times, he neglects some of those chores. He gets caught up in the good stuff he is doing and "forgets" the tasks or only partially completes what he committed to doing. It happens, right? You fill up the sink with hot water and you walk away for a minute. Two hours later the water is cold and the dishes haven't been done but hey, at least the blog post got written, or those phone calls got made, right?

As you can imagine,  she is not quite happy about the neglect and she dares to challenge him on how he spent his time. But by golly, he is the man and she will not be questioning him. That is his time and he doesn't answer to her or anybody else because he is a grown man for crying out loud. Who does she think she is? 

I know that it sounds ridiculous and in this instance it's a bit of a non-conventional job he holds, but do you know somebody like that?  It may sound like this: "I'm the one who brings home the bacon, now go fry me up some bacon. And while you're at it shove some bacon in that kids mouth so he will shut up." Or maybe it's like this: "It doesn't matter where I've been, I'm going to go to bed because I work for a living and I don't want anybody bothering me." Forget about any connection that the family needs from him. 

Ever since we were kids we have wanted our own way, it's in our nature. From the time that someone picked up a toy that we had previously been playing with, thereby making it our own, we have whined and cried and moaned about what is ours. That's what kids do. But scripturally speaking we are told that when we grow up we are to put away childish things.  Instead, we often grow up and as men we use our size, our position, our maleness to do what we want, when we want. Just like children in grown bodies.

I heard a song the other day, "Absentminded Melody" by Joel Plaskett. I never heard it before and I don't know him or anything about him, but it had an interesting line: "The only thing worse than growing up is never quite learning how". Well, we won't learn how unless we are willing to honestly listen to someone who will tell us what we need to hear as opposed to what we want to hear. Until we get over ourselves and realize that the world does not revolve around us.

If you want to be a grown man with character, don't be afraid to exercise your God given authority when it's called for, but quit using your position to boss people around.  Don't be a bull in a china shop, but don't be afraid to come out of the bull pen either. Do what's right not what's easy. Have integrity. Do what you say you will do. Speak kindly even when your harsh words are "fair" and for that matter forget about fairness.  Quit thinking that just because you are a man with needs, that yours are more important than those of everybody else. If you have a spouse, love her.  If you have contributed to bringing a child into this world, then be a father and raise them (which means more than bringing home a paycheck). 

If you want more out of your manhood than the ability to have sex, the freedom to do what you want and when you want, read through the New Testament and see what Jesus Christ says about being a man. Check out His character and emulate it. Surround yourself with good men and learn from them.  Don't be a little boy in a man's body. Be different. Grow up.  

The author is husband to an amazing wife, father to two beautifully grown daughters and papaw to two of the cutest and smartest kids ever created. He is currently the associate pastor at Tabernacle of Praise in Crestline, Ohio. At present, he is taking a break from his career as a Christian stand-up comic, however, if you would like to discuss him speaking to your church or group, feel free to contact him directly by e-mail at dwaynecastle40@yahoo.com or by phone at 419-961-1265. 

Where was God?

9/11, Mass shootings, natural disasters... Many are asking how a loving God could allow these things to happen. The premise of the question, I believe, is flawed. After the tragedy in Newtown, CT, the headline reads: "Churches Packed for Vigil".  Why does it take catastrophe to draw us to God? It's because at times like this, when we see true evil, that we have no frame of reference or ability to grasp what has happened. It's so large and overwhelming that only God can comfort us. Only God can possibly understand. 

But can't He guide and comfort us daily? Is He God only when disaster strikes? Why do the masses who pack the church during crisis avoid the church at other times? I believe a main reason is a lack of balance within the church community.

On one side we have in our global community those who have become so afraid of persecution or tired of the "in your face" corruption that the world offers.  We have gone on the offense, lashing out, becoming so militant in our faith that we condemn and push away those who don't hold the same beliefs that we do. Are we so prideful to think that we are above the persecution that Jesus has said we will suffer?  We are so busy declaring our rights that we fail present a Gospel of love and compassion. 

On the other side of the imbalance, we silently accept or actively endorse all manner of sin, acquiescing to the carnal desires of those who want to have a "faith" walk and a worldly lifestyle, simultaneously. But if we accept changes to the Gospel to accommodate individual lifestyle choices, how do we become any different than the Samaritans of old who mixed and matched their favorite parts of religion until the original commands of God were lost? It took Jesus to break through the false and distorted doctrines created by man. But he started with the woman at the well, with love and compassion and when he did "many that day were added" to the Kingdom of God.  

Jesus was not militant nor did He judge. He presented love, the word of God, the message of repentance and salvation. But those who chose not to follow him were not bullied or belittled. The rich young man was given the instruction to sell all he had, give the money to the poor and follow Jesus. When the man refused, it was that same man who hung his head and walked away. Jesus didn't mock or ridicule him. Jesus didn't poke His finger in the man's chest and badger him. But neither did He change the requirement that we must be willing to give our all to serve God. 

We as Christian's must be Christ-like. It's in the name. We will judge angel's, but it will happen when we have been given authority to do so. Who gave us a right to judge every person who comes across our path? And why do we judge some sin as more heinous than another? We have no right to judge others unless and until we have been given the authority to do so. On the flip-side, if we cave on the principles taught to us through scripture, in an attempt to draw in those who are seeking, what will they find but validation that the current path they are on is sufficient.

As a Christian, I challenge you to love others enough to share the gospel with them, but to respect them enough to allow them to make their own decision on serving the God that you serve. I challenge you to hold back your judgement of others but to love them enough to pray for them. I challenge you with this: Does the mighty God we serve need you or me to convince others of His existence, or do you think maybe all we have to do is love Him first and foremost, and love our neighbors as ourselves?

As for the original question "where was God?" He is right where He has always been, jealously waiting on you, craving a relationship. A relationship in which He heals your hurts, celebrates your joys, and guides your steps. A relationship based on the only true love that exists.

My prayers go out for the community of Newtown and for the hearts of a grieving humanity. 

(All scripture links from the "Blue Letter Bible". Please check out and support them.)

If you would like information about having Dwayne come to minister, speak or perform for your group, contact him by e-mail at dwaynecastle40@yahoo.com or by phone at 419-961-1265.