Showing posts with label wrong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wrong. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The True Story of My Dad (Superman's Cousin)

My little brother and I were in our bedroom conducting gravitational experiments with our spit. From the top bunk we were hanging over the edge to see how close to the floor we could hang a string of spit from our mouths before it would break off and splat. I know, that's gross! But I was seven and seven year old boys revel in any new and creative way to outdo the last gross thing.

George Reeves, Jr.
Playing Superman
In this case we had been "experimenting" for about 15 minutes when my father burst into the room. Apparently he had passed the age of appreciation for disgusting displays of splatology as was evidenced by the familiar "Boys, this is going to hurt me worse than it's going to hurt you."


He reached up to snatch me off the top bunk but before he got to me his foot hit that puddle of failed experiments that had built up on the tiled floor, causing him to slip and then sail across the room before coming down on his pancreas. Yeah, let's go with pancreas. I told him that it did look like it hurt him worse than it hurt me. I was wrong.


The next day I asked him how he knew we were in the bedroom spitting on the floor, since the door was closed. "Well son," he  said, "it's like this, I am Superman's cousin and I have super powers." I immediately questioned his claim because I had not been impressed with his flying demonstration the previous day. He quickly let me know that his super power was X-ray vision and that he could see through walls. Like I said, I was seven years old and what seven year old doesn't believe it when his dad tells him something like that?

I did the natural thing which was go to school and tell everybody that my dad was Superman's cousin and by my calculations, this made me Superman's second cousin. My claim was immediately dismissed and right to my face I was told that both my dad and I were liars. Nobody is going to call my dad a liar and get away with it. Especially about something as serious as being a super hero. I fought in defense of his integrity but didn't fare too well. It turns out that super powers skip a generation and I couldn't hold my own against Jimmy or the rest of the third grade.

I began having doubts about his story when our neighbor, Moose, from the local chapter of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club heard me bragging about my father's super powers. He told me to go get my dad to come outside so he could... on second thought there is no need to spell out what Moose was threatening to do. The point is that I was faced with this challenge to go tell my dad that Moose wanted him to come out so he could do it. I gladly accepted the challenge on my dad's behalf and went home to get him. He just needed to come out and make an appearance. Just flex his powers to prove he was who he said he was and that would be the end of it.

On the way home I hesitated.  What if he came out and by some slim chance got beat up by Moose. I mean, Moose was a big guy with a bad reputation. What then? What if it turned out that my dad only had X-ray vision, or worse, was just human? Doubt overcame me and I feared the possibilities. I didn't go get my dad.  I didn't talk about it at school anymore, and I didn't go near Moose's house for a long time either, in hopes that he would just forget about the matter entirely. I'm guessing that he has forgotten about it by now. I didn't even mention this incident to my dad until recently. He had a great laugh.

I know that it was a story my dad made up to have fun with me but looking back, I was willing to fight for him and his integrity. I was willing to believe that he was cousin to a fictional character. I was a bit disappointed over time when I came to the realization that he was not super human after all. But I still think fondly about those early days when I believed and the lengths I was willing to go because of my belief. I wondered if I would ever feel that way again? Willing to accept the tough challenges, like Moose. Thankfully, yes!  

Although my dad is simply human and imperfect, I love him. But, I have a heavenly Father who is perfect and is who He says He is. Thanks to my experience with my dad, I didn't immediately believe in God and His all knowing, all powerful, always present self. But I opened myself up to the possibility that it could be true. I dared to believe a little at a time and found that not only is He God, He is The Creator and He made me in His image and His powers did not skip a generation.

Because of God's super-human power, I have witnessed greater things than speed faster than a bullet or strength stronger than a locomotive. I have seen hate turn to love. I have seen death defeated. I have seen needs met, right on time. And I have seen him restore the relationship of a father and son, my dad and me, after years of not speaking or seeing one another. This is the God I am willing to stand with, to obey, and to lay my life down for.

God paved a way for us to get to Him by coming in the flesh, in Jesus Christ. He didn't have to but He chose to because He loves you and me. He doesn't want us to just get by, He gives us the Holy Spirit to help build His Kingdom and to live a life full of peace and joy and power. When we are willing to accept His power on His terms, that good feeling of a boy toward his dad the super hero is magnified way beyond words or imagination.  I invite you to accept Him as your heavenly Father today. 

For questions, comments, or booking information feel free to contact me directly at 419-961-1265, by e-mail at dwaynecastle40@yahoo.com, or through my website www.funnybutclean.com. If you enjoyed this please let me know by posting a comment, sharing with others, and/or subscribing to future posts.



Tuesday, August 28, 2012

We Can't All Be Right (so let's do it my way)


The presidential election of 2012 brings a sad realization for me. It's the first time in history that someone on the ticket is younger than I am. Paul Ryan has gone and made me a middle aged white guy. Thanks a lot, dude. And this year the big talk is the economy but need I remind you that in 2006 we lost a planet? That's right, a planet! Remember Pluto? An entire solar system has been downsized by over 11%. Okay, just jokes. But I'm a comedian, what'd you expect? 

Before being a comedian, I am an American and I have serious questions about life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness. I have concerns about the state of truth, justice & The American Way? What about my constitutional freedoms and rights? I, along with over 60% of the population don't like direction we are going as a nation. The problem is that we many don’t seem to agree with me as to the right direction. 

I blame otherism for this. That's right, otherism: "a distinctive doctrine, cause, or theory" that is different than mine. Before you go and get all offended, I want to remind you that this is America and I have every right to point out the flaws and problems of this nation and those causing them.

I have the the Constitutional guarantee to share my point of view, the freedom to tell people when they are wrong and to call them names when they don't agree with me. I can make signs and march with other people who correctly believe the way that I do. This is the USA, baby and I can express myself. I have guaranteed 1st Amendment rights and by all means, I will exercise them.

A few days ago, my friend Eric Johnson, re-posted one of his great blogs. In it he gave his take on politics and the issue of fear vs faith from a Christian perspective. Although his point was a bit different than the point I'm attempting to make, it brought some old and similar thoughts back to my mind. Where does my allegiance lay? Is it with the "kingdom" of man or The Kingdom of God? And if I put my God above my country can I still be considered a good patriot?

I have had people tell me that it's my duty as a Christian to stand up and be heard and that I must join with the chorus shouting over the message of the "other side”. Our morals and way of life are "being assaulted" and it's up to us to stop those perpetrating this deed. It's been implied that to jump in guns blazing, figuratively speaking, is the patriotic thing to do.  

The problem is that there are American's and Christians on both sides of each issue. Am I to destroy my brothers and sisters and their character to ensure that my rightness beats out theirs?  On top of that, and more importantly, there is a world full of individuals who don't know the God we say we are standing up for.  The only glimpse they may get is the one of a man holding the WWJD sign in one hand while flipping me the bird with the other (which has really happened.) 

Don't misunderstand me. I believe that we are to be engaged in the electoral process and with the pulse of our culture. I believe that the sins of our nation will be judged and that this country will be punished for its broken covenants. I believe that our disobedience will not go ignored by our Creator. I believe that we are obligated to stand up for Israel and for the unborn. I believe as a nation we have allowed ourselves to stray from God and to put Him on a shelf next to the many other gods we serve. 

Are not the two greatest commandments we've been given to love God and to love our neighbors? Are His instructions supposed to take a backseat to our "rights"? We fight and divide over the principle that this country was founded by God and then forsake His commands and unwittingly mock Him while defending our right to do so on constitutional grounds. 

As a Christian, how do I glorify God by calling the President, his opponent or their supporters, poo poo heads? As both a Desert Storm veteran and as a man fully in love with Christ I caution you to not lose sight of who you are and what you truly stand for.  I choose to pray, to vote, and to calmly articulate my points of view. I choose to do my best to demonstrate Jesus to others by blessing and not cursing, even when we disagree.

If you have enjoyed this post or have thoughts on it, please comment, subscribe and share. If you would be interested in booking me for your group or event, check me out at www.funnybutclean.com or contact me at dwaynecastle40@yahoo.com or by phone at 419-961-1265.