The Ugly Mannequin (who are you calling ugly?)

For those of you who don't know me I can be a bit quirky. For those that do know me I can hear you saying "Duh!" Sometimes, and I'm sure I am the only one, I say or do foolish things. I call this condition: Accidental Inappropriateness or AI for short.

This is NOT an ugly mannequin

I believe the first manifested episode struck me as a teenager, while walking with a friend through the old Harts department store in Delaware, Ohio. My eye was caught by two mannequins that were similarly dressed and posed closely together. The first was posed naturally. Not human naturally, but mannequin naturally. The second was posed human naturally, just standing there motionless the way mannequins do.


The first one looked like a normal everyday store mannequin. If it was in a warehouse full of mannequins you would not be able to pick it out from any of the others. I know the thought of being in a warehouse full of mannequins is a bit freaky for some so I apologize for the imagery. The second one was different than the first in that it was ugly. I had never seen an ugly mannequin before. I always thought they were supposed to be beauty neutral, well, as much as I thought about things like that.

I commented to my friend as I pointed, "That is an ugly mannequin."  I did not whisper it to him since it wasn't a secret. Other people had to have realized that it was an ugly mannequin, too. Because I was being funny, I even put heavy emphasis on the "Ug", drawing it out a couple extra seconds... "Uuuuggggggly". And then we laughed.

I don't know why I had an opinion on the aesthetics of a life-sized, plastic clothing model. I saw it. It was ugly. I said so. Unfortunately, the "mannequin" turned out to be a lady who just happened to not be moving when I had looked at her. I realized this after she looked at me and said "excuse me?".

I  couldn't play it off. When I pointed and made my exclamation it was obvious about whom I was speaking. What could I say? "Oh, wow! Sorry, lady. I thought you were a mannequin. For a lady you are okay". I would never call another person ugly or intentionally hurt their feelings. That's just not me. And now I will never knock a mannequin either.

What's my point? Although the great mannequin debacle of 1985 was truly a mistake on my part, a case of AI, how many times have I made the same types of judgement knowing that it was a real, living, breathing human being? How many times have I put down someone else's point of view, intelligence, circumstances, appearance or some other lack of normalcy? Maybe I never intentionally pointed at someone and called them ugly or stupid but I know I have thought it.  I know I have made snide comments or jokes. And we all know that's okay as long as I was just kidding, right? Wrong. That was sarcasm.

Look, we live in a society that is broken. Countless people are physically, mentally, relationally, financially and/or spiritually challenged. Some are adversely affected by the poor choices that they or some other person made.

We who believe we have it all together tend to judge from high up on our perch, those who don't. We tend to believe that what we initially see on the surface is all there is to a person. Well, these are people not lifeless, soulless mannequins. And when we indulge in crude and harsh thought or commentary about them, or bully them, we are simply projecting the insecurity of our own inner man. When we judge, we are reflecting the condition of our own heart and quite possibly crushing another human being in the process, whether we mean to or not.

I would like to encourage you with this post to consider the people around you. Those in your sphere of influence that are maybe not what you would consider "normal." Then, imagine that person as your child. Will you go out of your way to love them? You know, the way Jesus went out of His way to love you. I hope so.

If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe, share with others, and drop me a line. If you are interested in booking me for your event as a motivational speaker or comedian, check out my site at www.funnybutclean.com or e-mail me at dwaynecastle40@yahoo.com. I can also be reached directly by phone at 419-961-1265. 

Lessons From a Racing Legend

Let's go camping she says. My prim and proper, every bit a lady, wife has taken to primitive camping. By primitive, I mean clean restrooms and shower facilities, camp activities, camp store, and a tent. All conveniently located minutes away from WalMart.

So, maybe that's not your idea of primitive camping, but I will take it. For her, this is adventure. For me, this is love. Okay, I get sappy now and then, so I've been told. This blog post isn't entirely about love and mushiness. It's also about racing.

Racing, you ask. Yep, racing. Nothing compares to the feel of the road below your wheels as you take a car around the track at speeds in excess of 200 miles per hour. Tires slipping/gripping the asphalt as you take a curve with G-Forces found in F/18 Fighter jets. At least that's what I've been told. I have never experienced that, but I have to tell you that driving a golf cart around a grass field was also a bit of a thrill. Now before you NASCAR fans scoff, read on, it may be worth it.

On this particular Saturday, the activity coordinator at Foxfire Campground scheduled a golf cart race. The object was to race around the course, staying inside the lane markers, avoiding the man-made obstacles such as the plastic barrels and natural obstacles such as the trees and pond. Oh yeah, trees and pond, baby.

The goal was to have the best time against the other drivers. And by the way, the drivers are blind-folded. What?! Yes. Blind-folded. I hear you thinking. No way. It's impossible to drive over hill and dale, avoiding barrels and trees, and pond, while blind-folded. You would be right, except that also going along for the ride is your navigator who tells you when to go left or right, or "STOP! that body of water is getting too close."

When we found out about the races, I thought this would be fun to watch. My wife on the other hand resolved to enter this race and that I would be her navigator. Fortunately we did not go first. We had the luxury of watching the others and it was a hoot. You could see the navigators pointing left but yelling right. You could see them covering their eyes and the look of fear as they approached the plastic white barrels and trees. Like I said, a hoot.

It was all fun and games until we took our turn. I have to admit that I am an awful passenger. Some even say control freak. I disagree with the latter assessment, but this is America and people are entitled to their opinion. Prior to covering her eyes, Deborah took a few more glances at the course, committing the layout to memory before going blind. We were given the command to go and boy did we take off like a shot. Well, not really a shot so much as an angry turtle.

We first began rolling down the hill and I began calling for her to ease left, left. LEFT! "Don't yell at me, you make me nervous!" she said. Okay, turn right. Right. RIGHT! "Honey, why are you going so slow? You have to step on the gas."

In my defense, I wasn't previously aware that her motor skills were an issue, but apparently when her hands were being used to steer, her foot would tend to ease off the gas or onto the break. It was kind of like the whole rub your tummy, pat your head type of thing. She just couldn't do gas and wheel at the same time. I know right now someone is considering the tummy/head thing and it's okay, nobody is looking, go for it. Like I said, this is America.

We eventually made it to the finish line in record making time. I don't know if it was really a record, but I have a hard time thinking anybody else has ever gone that slow before. Then subtract the penalties for going out of bounds, repeatedly, we didn't have a chance. But then, after all of the other racers took their turns, we were told we could switch places. What? Really? I can do this? Yes.

I took my position in the driver's seat, took a last look at the course, and then donned the blind-fold. Whew! It was dark in there. I got the command, "Go!" and I gunned it. If I hit 5mph, I hit every bit of 12. We were cruising at top speed with a panic stricken navigator yelling at me to go left, now right. "Stay in the lines." she says. I reminded her that I was driving blind and that "I can't see the lines, honey. You have to tell me what to do."

She yells at me to hurry, go right. Sharp right. We are going to hit the speed bump, as we hit the speed bump. It was then I remebered that the speed bump was just before the two barrels and the finish line was just beyond. Much to her dismay, I floored it, while she screamed for me to ease left and right until we crossed the finish line.

The whispers began as suddenly as we crossed the line. We might have done it. We may have won. There were a couple more racers and although they gave a valiant effort, they could not best our time. The announcement was made. We had in fact won, becoming the 2012 Foxfire Camping Golf Cart Racing Champions.

The crowd erupted. "Woohoo!", "Yes!", "Great job!", "You sir, are a legend." Okay, well there were about a dozen people who congratulated me with smiles and nods. I could have been called a legend. You never know.

Later that night, while rejoicing in our victory, it occurred to me how much this was so much an analogy of life. I know you are asking yourself, how can golf cart racing be anything close to life? Stick with me for a moment.

People have choices in life. We can go through life not doing anything, not getting anywhere, because we are afraid to hit the gas. Our dreams and plans wither and die because there is no movement or momentum. Others are moving, blindly, hitting every obstacle in their path. A tree here or a pond there. Maybe going in a completely wrong direction from where they want to be.

But to finish and finish well, we need a trustworthy navigator. My wife was a much better navigator than I was. However, Jesus is the ultimate navigator. We can trust him to not yell at us. He can take us way beyond our dreams and plans, into so much more than what we could ever do if we live in fear or flail blindly in this life. He can see around the corners and knows where the obstacles are. He can help us avoid them, or reroute us when they happen. In fact He is already at the finish line, waiting on us. He made a way for us to get there already. We have won, with Him guiding us, if we follow His guidance.

What dreams and plans are you sitting on today? What kind of fear is holding you back? Why not give it all to God and let Him help steer your life?