Hi there, it's me. Yes, it has been a bit since I have posted here on my blog. I have been a little busy and I am betting some of you have been too busy to even notice.
I am busy trying to be the loving and attentive husband my wife needs me to be, the concerned dad my grown daughters need, and the involved "papaw" that my grandson needs me to be. I've got an awesome grand-daughter, too, but she's only 6-months old and doesn't really rely on me for much at the moment. For that matter, at this moment, she could take me or leave me.
Apparently I'm sort of the patriarch of my little clan, which is kind of weird to me, and intimidating, but as I understand the word of God, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My family and my personal relationships are some of my biggest priorities, but in order for me to successfully fulfill my varied roles, I have to be the man that God has called me to be, and I can't do that without first tending to my relationship with God, the Father.
As the associate pastor at my church, one might think that I've got my spiritual walk in full swing. I mean, how can I not be in healthy relationship with God when I'm working in the church office so many hours a week and tending to the needs of the flock. With all my studying and preparing lessons for the mid-week church services or getting our children's department moving forward, certainly I am in perfect communication with Him. And even if that weren't enough, I have deep conversations my pastor multiple times a week, so obviously I have to be "ahead of the game" when it comes to spending time in the Spirit, listening to what God wants me to hear.
Then why is it that I always feel rushed? Why does it always seem that there is too much to do and not enough time with which to do it? Why does it so often seem that there is something missing, not getting done? And, why does it so often seem that my conversations with God are done as an afterthought, when I have time to squeeze it in? Well, I know why. I'm busy. I'm busy with all of these roles that He has seen fit to put on me. I'm busy with the expectations that I put on myself or that I perceive others have of me. What if I fail? What if something doesn't get done? What if I "miss" something? What if, what if, what if?
During prayer and study with my wife the other day, it was impressed upon me by the Holy Spirit to rest. So I sat quietly to hear what He wanted me to know. Soon after, I realized that even when I was attempting to rest, I was fidgeting. My eyes were closed and I took a deep breath, I stretched my arms, I cracked my neck and stretched my back. I even twiddled my thumbs. He said "rest", and so I quit and just sat there and after a moment He again said to "rest" and I thought, "I am resting" then He pointed out that my legs were moving side to side. I was using them to swivel my chair, just slightly, back and forth in little rhythmic partial circles. Sometimes I tap my feet or lightly drum on the desk. So I stopped.
I just sat there, eyes closed, not moving, not thinking, not trying to go to sleep nor avoiding sleep. Just sitting there, resting and listening to what He had to tell me. It wasn't the kind of listening where you have to strain to hear, it was the kind of listening that when you are completely at peace, you can't help but know you are visiting with Him. It was only a few moments, but I don't remember ever just resting before. I realized that I was smiling. I felt great! I had no worries, no timetable, no problems. I was rested. This is something I've been doing periodically throughout the day, since then. Same results. Peace.
In those moments, He taught me how to truly "rest in Him" and He wants the same for you. So, when you find yourself so busy, wearing all of the hats that you are required to wear, always doing, doing, and doing some more, just stop. Take a few moments every day, stop fidgeting, and rest.